Right after ass surgery

A little woozy. I'm on a pain medication that begins with an n but I'm not sure what it's called. My wife is out now getting the prescription filled. So this post will be a little scattered.

First off, it feels very good to have actually had the ass surgery. I was sick earlier this week and afraid it'd have to be postponed, but on top of that, it's just good to have had the surgery actually done. I was under general anesthesia, so I was out like a light during the whole thing, which I'm very glad of. The strange thing was that they started wheeling me towards the O.R. and as they were, they administered the anesthesia, so as I was traveling I was going under. I do remember saying hello to Dr. Brand when I got to the O.R..

What I'd really love right now is a standing recliner. Standing feels much, much better than any kind of sitting or lying down. I'm wrapped in a very tight ace bandage - one of the means of pushing the cheeks together so I can heal properly - and all pressure is uncomfortable. So a standing recliner is basically a plank at a an angle with armrests, so you can lean back standing. Lena Lamont uses one during her cigarette break on the Civil War picture when she meets Don Lockwood for the first time - initially ignoring him and then becoming nice once RJ Simpson announces they'll be starring in a new movie together. If you haven't seen Singing in the Rain, go see it! It's a phenomenal film with top to bottom great performances, most particularly from the smaller roles. And if you see it, you'll know what I was just writing about . . .

So yeah, I'm wrapped really tight in an ace bandage around my hips. I like this a lot because it's helping me heal. I like it quite a bit because its kind of sexy to be bound. I don't like it at all because it emphasizes my love handles and makes it seem like I have some back fat. Of course the idea of being sexy or worrying about the appearance of love handles is kind of hilarious, given that I have a tube coming out of my crack and a bulb at the end of the tube to collect the whatever will be coming out of the wound. You'd think that with that setup and woozy and uncomfortable it'd be hard to maintain my vanity. You'd be wrong.

The hospital staff were pretty great. Answered questions, laughed at my attempts at humor (but really, who can resist the one about the zero and the eight) and were very professional and accommodating. At one point in pre-op there were some people walking up to my chart and writing on it without ever introducing themselves, and that didn't feel good, but that only happened when other doctors were with me.

Favorite part of the morning: having Dr. Brand's assistant Brad draw on my butt cheeks. He was outlining the extent of the area where they'd be working and lucky me he had to do it twice, so I had my ass drawn on and then swabbed and then drawn on again. Before he started he asked me to stand and the asked if I was standing normally. I told him I was standing normally for someone in socks and a hospital gown about to have this butt drawn on by someone he'd just met 5 minutes previously. I don't know why, but the feeling of a felt tip pen on my butt cheeks was very pleasing.

Least favorite part of the morning: realizing that no matter what pain medication I was on, I'll still be pretty uncomfortable for the next five days. The wound isn't bad and the pain isn't too bad, but it is quite uncomfortable, and as I wrote above, there's no way to sit or lie that I've discovered that isn't uncomfortable. Maybe something will occur to me.

What's occurring to me now is to go to the Apple site and check out their new iPods and cheaper iPhone. Window shopping is always fun.

More later.